Life in 1990 was weird for me...
I was with a man that was not good. He was abusive, used drugs…not good. So, most of my life that year was not good. I actually blocked much of it out. In fact, the only thing I can really remember from 1990…was the song , “Nothing compares 2 u”…strange since it was such a hauntingly beautiful love song written by Prince. Why did I love it since my life was in such turmoil with absolutely no love…why would this be my fond memory? But it was. So, as I blocked out most of my life at this time...I do remember having good friends.
I had lived in LA since 1982 and worked at a law firm in downtown LA. I had moved back to Colorado in 1987…but, in 1988 I returned to LA. I started working temp jobs. One of those was at a geologist firm in Van Nuys.
I made a great friend there, Holly Deming. We worked together as secretaries. We just became close…we had the same sense of humor and had such fun…and, she was very sweet. I dated a guy from the geologist firm. It didn’t last. But, Holly and I remained close. Then, I moved to Ventura County to try to get this guy back…and instead of getting him...sadly I met the bad guy mentioned earlier there! But Holly and I remained close. And when she found the guy for her…I was thrilled that she asked me to be in her wedding! Aside from my family…I had never been in a wedding!
So, it was 1990…specifically August 1st, 1990…and I was a bridesmaid in her beautiful wedding! It was all a bit of a blur because I was with the bad man…but, I do remember it was beautiful!! I was beautiful! And of course, Holly was beautiful!!
After that…I tried to make things work with that man…but, it was too awful. I moved back to Colorado in May of 1991. So, after that I sadly lost touch with Holly. Since we had not talked since that time…I thought I’d give her an update on my life (and for anyone else who is interested or cares!)...
I returned to my hometown of Greeley and got a job right away at the Chamber of Commerce and met a guy there. He was better than my last one….MUCH! He was a Chamber Vice President, had a MS degree and came from a wonderful family in Kansas. So, I lived and worked in Greeley, Colorado from 1991 to 1993…and ended up marrying the new guy on December 31, 1993. We had a beautiful wedding in Greeley and a fabulous reception/New Year’s Eve party on the stage at the local performing arts stage. Quite unique and special!
Since he was from Kansas, when he got a job offer in Junction City, Kansas, he took it and we moved there. I finished my Bachelor’s degree at Kansas State University in nearby Manhattan. I loved it there. I wanted to stay in Kansas and start our lives. But, he ended up taking a job in Orlando, Florida. I did not want to move but said I would go for a couple of years.
We did move to a beautiful suburb of Orlando...Winter Park, Florida in January, 1996. It really was quite nice and very high class. Many famous golfers and sports figures lived in this area. I met Nick Faldo and Orel Hershiser! I worked at Disney in the Reservations Department. I decided I just was not happy being in Florida…too far from family and didn’t like Florida (at that time...now, I love it!). We were not getting along that great…partly because we remodeled an old house (spent lots of money…very strenuous on a relationship…) and partly because I could never get pregnant. So, I left…back to Colorado. I truly thought he would follow me back to Colorado...but, he did not. I moved back in January 1998…exactly two years after moving to Florida…exactly four years of marriage.
I was back in Colorado just in time to see the Broncos win their first Super Bowl…which, at the time….was a great thrill for me! (Now, I don’t really care about them…!). I worked at various jobs in Northern Colorado.
In 1998, I dated a man who I rode to Aspen with on a Harley motorcycle. It was my first time in Aspen (and my first time on a motorcycle for a three hour drive!)…and I was smitten (with him and with Aspen!). The guy and I didn’t work out…so, I decided to try to move up to Aspen! I moved there in August of 1999…only was able to afford staying there a little while…but, it was fun and I got to meet some interesting people. I celebrated the new millennium at Aspen Mountain with fireworks overhead!! But, since I didn’t ever ski…and really didn’t like snow…I moved back to Greeley right after that. I moved into my grandparents’ now sitting-empty house in Greeley.
I worked at WaterPik in Fort Collins briefly that year…but, after a fling with a much younger man (he was 20…I was 37)…of which I’m not proud (oh yes, I am!! Move over Demi Moore!). Anyway…shockingly that didn’t work out (ha!)…I decided to move back to LA that summer and go to a summer acting program at the LA division of the American Academy of Dramatic Arts. It was a fantastic summer… I met great people who were highly motivated. But, I never could find a good place to live and I had this house back in Greeley…and I was still pining for the man on the motorbike (before I left he said I should come back and we would go out again). Dang…I believed him and returned...
So…back at my little house and I got a job at the hospital in Greeley in the purchasing department. I never got back with the motorbike man…but found a new one! I met the infamous Jimmy (on again/off again boyfriend that lasted 12 years!)…who worked there as an X-ray engineer. He lived in Denver and in February of 2003 we got engaged. In the summer of 2003 he bought a place up in the mountains above Loveland…down a two mile lane…beautiful place with beautiful scenery…but, a horrendous drive – especially in the snow!!!! He did not ask or care for my opinion of not wanting to make that drive (and I didn’t like the place really…the house was not my ‘class’!)…but, we stayed together…on again/off again for the next 11 years!
After my job was eliminated in 2005…I decided to just work contract jobs. I tried to move back to LA in 2007 (one of my off again times with Jimmy). But, I ended up in a bad car wreck…car was totaled…so, flew back to Colorado and Dad and I drove back to LA (via Arizona and the Grand Canyon…and the Hoover Dam and Vegas) to get some things. It was the last trip I got to take with my Dad…so, it was actually a blessing! We had a wonderful time together. He is the greatest!!!
Upon returning to Colorado…I proceeded to get back with Jimmy who then dumped me…not broke up with me…but dumped me on his motorbike…breaking my left leg tibia! I was on crutches for 3 months. It was the year the Rockies went to the World Series…so, I had to go…and went to one of the games…on crutches!! It took me a year to really rehab from my broken leg.
In 2008, I returned to work in the Human Resources field (I had segued into that at the law firm in 1990)...and worked part-time at Penton Media in Loveland. A highlight of this year was going on a Rick Springfield fan cruise! Jimmy went with me. It was such fun. I got to get a picture with my idol, Rick…finally! And believe it or not…it happened exactly 26 years to the DAY after the first time I met him in LA on the set of General Hospital! Another highlight of this year was getting to go to a Macdonald, Halsted and Laybourne law firm reunion in LA for my wonderful first boss’ 90th birthday…Mary G. Young. God bless that woman! She was tough…but taught me so much! (She has since passed…).
I tried to move back to LA again in the summer of 2009…but, right after that I learned that my Dad was not doing that well back in Colorado. Plus, I missed my 2 dogs and cat that were staying on his farm! So, I moved back to Colorado. I stayed between his farm, my house and my friends’ apartment in Boulder. I worked various contract jobs. I still dated the man Jimmy…but, it was really going downhill at this point. He always had ‘other women’ in his life (yes, I saw many phone numbers, receipts, notes, etc…). I tried dating other men but nothing ever ‘took’.
We did go on another Rick Springfield cruise in 2009. The cruises depart from the Port of Miami…so, my visits out there always included stopping in Fort Myers (made good friends there through Jimmy) and my beloved Orlando and Winter Park, Florida. And of course, visits to my beloved DisneyWorld!! 2011 was the last visit Rick Springfield cruise…another great time with a concert on a Jamaican beach and a stop in Grand Cayman! That was the best trip. Jimmy and I had fun, but it was our last trip together.
I started a Master’s degree online through Colorado State University that fall. I worked from home as a recruiter, took care of dad and did my studies. When I turned 50 in August of 2012…I celebrated for two months with visits to Vail (for a nephew’s wedding), Aspen (my old stomping grounds), Manhattan, Kansas (again, my old stomping grounds!)…all alone. My family did take me to dinner.
I had lost one of my precious doggies in 2010…so, I was down to one dog, Harley and one kitty, Kikki who all had been out at my dad’s farm since 2009. He loved them so much and they loved him and loved living on the farm. So, I drove to his farm (25 miles one way) at least every other day to check on all of them! Again, working odd jobs, contract jobs and working on my degree.
Dad’s health had deteriorated enough that my aunt (who owned the farm) had convinced my brother to ‘take over’ and sell the farm and move Dad to my brother’s house in Casper, Wyoming in February, 2014. This was a very trying time for me as I had ‘lived’ out there part time too for almost 10 years. We had so much to sell and move…and I had a tenant in my Greeley house…who fortunately moved quickly as Dad’s farm sold very quickly. So me, my dog Harley and cat Kikki…headed back to Greeley full time. Jimmy came back in my life then…briefly…just long enough to help with the move…but, we promptly broke up after that (never to get back together again!).
At this time…it so happened that my mother’s health was going downhill. So, I went from caregiver to my Dad to caregiver to my mom. Notoriously, my mother and I had always butted heads…but, we learned to enjoy each other’s company and really became close. She had a beautiful home in Greeley…exactly 30 blocks from my house. So, I was able to see her and spend time with her every day. I would take my dog Harley to her house and she would ‘baby sit’ her ‘granddoggie’! Oh how she loved Harley!!! He was such a blessing to all of us (thank you Jimmy for getting him for your daughter who didn’t like him... so I took him in 2003!!!!). Anyway…Mom had several issues due to lung problems and ended up on oxygen full time. After several stints in the hospital…I ended up being a full time caregiver.
I finished my degree in the fall of 2014…so, it was not until the summer of 2015 that I walked in the ceremony (I didn’t get to do that for my BS degree…) at the Bellco Theatre in Denver. My oldest cousin, Lynn and wife, Jo attended the ceremony and celebrated with me. So did my brother and wife. I had a nice reception later in Greeley at my favorite cinema lounge in downtown with cousins, sister and family and close friends attending. And of course…my mom was there…played the beautiful grand piano in the lobby…and more than that...she got to see me achieve something!!! It was one of our last family events all together as Mom passed away seven months later…January 10, 2016…at age 88.
I’ve struggled since that date. Because I hadn’t been working…except to take care of her…I really don’t know what to do anymore. My MS degree has not been a boon for me in me getting a good job (yes, I’ve been looking…). I now feel I’m at a crossroads. Almost needing to completely start over. Yet, I still have my house, many of mom’s things from her house…which sold immediately! And my kitty cat to care for!! I lost my precious doggie, Harley…6 months and 29 days before my mom died. Both took their last breaths in my arms.
So, time is precious. Time flies. And life is life…with struggles, heartbreak, loss…happiness…good and bad. But, honestly…since I was not able to have kids…I feel very alone. I take trips to Casper, Wyoming to visit my 92-year-old dad at least once a month. I stay in hotels since my brother and his family have become estranged (differences in personality, lifestyle, decisions on how to take care of our parents, etc.). It’s been hard on me.
In the last two years, I’ve lost three very close friends, my dog, and my mom through passing…and my boyfriend through another woman! I know the latter was for the best. But, it’s still hard to be alone. I haven’t been working or dating. Because I’ve almost given up. But, I know that I can’t give up.
My goal is to move when I turn 55…to a 55 and over community where I don’t have yard work or upkeep on an old house!!! And hopefully to a place in a warm climate! As for career…I still dream of singing and acting…even at this old age! But, I’ve lost my motivation…so, hoping something triggers me to begin to work on things again. I need inspiration…a muse…some help!
Well…that’s been the last 26 years of my life.
“I look to the sea…reflections in the waves…spark my memory….Some happy…some sad…I think of all my friends…and the dreams we had…” (Thank you Dennis DeYoung!).
The time went so fast. And, the next 26 will go just as fast...if not faster! And believe it or not…I will be almost 80 by then…if I make it that long!?
Only time will tell…
*PS – I have done a lot of acting and singing since 1990…Mom and I used to perform together at several venues and local events. And I wrote many songs…recorded a few. Plus, I did several shows…plays, musical theater productions locally.
Website:
http://jodyandevere.wix.com/hookyjo#!about/c10fk
